When we first found out we were expecting a wee one, we were beyond excited to announce that “we” were pregnant. Overwhelmingly our friends and family shared our happiness and enthusiasm, but a few people (mostly females) scoffed at our choice of words – “Oh, is your husband carrying the baby? Pretty sure only one of you is pregnant…”
Now, obviously only I was carrying our baby, but my husband and I had always tackled everything as a team. From dishes to finances and laundry, we handled everything together. I think that these days (for the most part) that “team” mentality has extended into pregnancy and parenting. While my body was changing and growing, his role as father, husband and emotional supporter certainly were as well. Our inclusive language really cemented our relationship as new parents who were equally invested in this little being we’d soon be welcoming.
This got me thinking about how truly important it is for parents to openly discuss and make mutually satisfying decisions when it comes to their babes – and especially when it comes to their sleep. Because no one is happy when they’re sleep deprived.
There are so many things to consider when you bring home a new baby. Where will he or she sleep? In your room? The nursery? In a crib, bassinet, cradle? What kind of monitor will work for your style? Swaddle? Coddle? The list is nearly endless.
Getting on the same page with your partner from the beginning can save you a world of headache later on. Especially because as that baby grows and develops you will be faced with even more questions and decisions to make. When should we take the soother away? Is he or she ready for a snuggly buddy? When do we move him or her into his or her own room?
Nothing impacts and changes a marriage quite like having a baby. According to relationship experts, the key to marital satisfaction lies in how couples manage the decision-making process. The number one point of contention? For new couples, it’s the division of labour – the who’s doing what to keep the household running, the fridge full and life organized.
According to this Parent’s article, “Staying Lovers While Raising Kids,” a common struggle for new parents is whether to let their baby cry it out at night, or timing when they should respond to the baby’s cries.
For the record, WeeSleep does not use th
e cry it out method. Understandably, parents tend to feel emotionally about their children and views on how to care for their babes. That’s why as a couple you need to be extra understanding and caring when discussing such issues.
So, what are the keys to marital bliss (or at least satisfaction) while caring for a wee one?
- Talk it Out – Schedules, money, intimacy, sleep – everything.
- Choose Your Timing – Work on issues when you’re calm, not when tensions are high, guards are up and the baby is screaming.
- Make the Effort – Life is busy. Take the time to send a thoughtful text or email. Pick up the phone and check in. We’re all busy, but no one is too busy to make time for their important relationships.
Happy wife, happy life? No. It’s so much bigger than that. Happy parents, happy baby, happy family, happy life. And no one is happy when they’re tired. Talk about what works best for you, your partner and your family to get the love, support and rest you need.